Why Did the Angel Die?
by dedkake
Summary: Life isn't going so great for one of the pilots. Will he take the extreme? suicide and shounen ai.


_*Why Did the Angel Die?*_

  
  


A boy of around 17 stood by a window, just watching the innocence of the snow as it came down. It was the opposite of him, dancing in the early December breeze, all that he could no longer be. Innocent, pure, carefree were just a few of the things he could never be again... but had he ever been any of those? There was not a moment in his life that he could remember being them, out of everything he could remember. People told him differently though. They said he was a hero, one of those who had brought peace. It was not true. None of it. All lies. So many people had died because of him, so much innocence... just like these snowflakes. He was a dirty, good-for-nothing person. The only person he loved would never love him back... although their past were so much the same... No.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he thought about his past, the war, all the people that had died, all of the *four* friends he'd made... the only four friends he had. This wasn't a life that was wanted to be lived by anyone, he'd come to that conclusion a while ago. No one to love, no one who loved you... only the snow falling outside your window. 

He laid a hand on the cold window and a shiver went through his whole body. But in a way, the glass was like him, cold. Frozen. Dead. His head soon joined his hand on the window, still watching the snow as it fell from the sky onto the ground below the window. Lifeless eyes stared at the snow, making sure that it landed safely on the ground or buildings or cars far below.

Then he realized that *this* was the reason he was here, in *this* city, in *this* building, watching *this* snow. He had come to get away from it all. Get away from people wanting his autograph, people telling him how good he was, getting away from the world and all of its inhabitants. All he had to do was stand on the ledge outside the window and jump... that's all. But was it worth it?

A small sigh came out of the boy's lips. He didn't know if he had enough courage to jump and end it all. He had had a lifetime of being a soldier, being courageous enough to fight a war, having courage to stand alone in the world. But now he wasn't sure that all the courage in him was enough courage to jump. 

"The only way to know... is to try..." He muttered quietly. It didn't matter. No one else was here. No one else knew he was here. No one.

Pulling the window open, he was met with an unfriendly gush of wind, and he shut it quickly. Soon enough, he was back opening it, ready for the wind this time. But it had died down. He hoisted himself up onto the ledge so that his legs were hanging over and his hands were holding onto the window and the wall. 

He took in a deep breath. "This is it..." He whispered, disturbing the snowflakes in front of him. That was when he noticed these snowflakes were different from the ones he was used to. They were... real. They were real snowflakes, not like the fake ones on the colonies... these *were* more innocent and pure.

Looking down, he finally noticed how high up he was and that there was a small crowd gathered around beneath him. "Go away." He pleaded with them, though he knew they could not hear him.

Another sigh escaped his lips when they did not move. "Then they will just have to watch me die..." A small smile came to his lips. They would watch their invincible hero die. Watch him fall to his doom. A laugh came out of his throat and it soon grew loud. 

Abruptly he stopped. There, below him, was a figure clad in black looking up at him, long, chestnut hair behind him. His eyes widened considerably and then they closed tight. "You'll just have to watch me die too, friend. You can tell everyone about how I jumped out a window, and tell them how weak I was to do this. Tell Wufei that, it will make him happy to know that his suspicions were true," his voice became choked. "A-and tell... him that I loved him. I know you know I did."

Soon the black clad figure moved toward the door, ready to stop his friend. "Sorry, Duo." The boy in the window whispered. "Goodbye everyone." He then let go of the window and wall and leaned forward. He took one last look at the snow swirling around him and then he fell...

~*~*~*~

Trowa woke when he heard a knock from outside his apartment door. He sat up slowly and pulled the first shirt he could find on. Walking out of his room, he opened the door and was surprised to see a group of three sad looking ex-pilots in front of him. Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy.

"What are you doing here... and so early in the morning?" The uni-banged boy asked.

Duo gave a small smile at Trowa's attire, a bright green shirt with a clown on it which read 'The Circus' in bright yellow letters and black boxers barely visible under the long shirt, but that soon faded. "Trowa... Q-quatre's..." The braided one's voice chocked off.

"What?" Trowa asked, ears perking up at the sound of his crushes name.

"He's-he's..." Duo couldn't say it, he turned around and started crying on Heero's shoulder.

Realization dawned on Trowa. "He's dead, isn't he?" Heero nodded mutely, and his eyes seemed to be collecting a little too much liquid. 

"He jumped out of a window. Duo saw it." Wufei said rather harshly, though his voice was cracked as well.

Trowa stared at Duo. "W-why didn't you do anything?" He asked, anger building up in him towards Duo.

Duo turned and looked at him. "I tried... but when I started to go into the building... he-he-" Heero put a finger on Duo's lips.

"You don't have to say it." The Japanese boy whispered in Duo's ear.

Trowa's anger disappeared and it was replaced with a growing sadness. "He wanted to die... he didn't want us to know..." He whispered, staring at his bare feet on the wooden floor. There was a lump starting to form in Trowa's throat and there was a strange stinging at the back of his eyes. Heero nodded. 

"Trowa... we know you liked him... and we wanted to say sorry..." Duo's voice was muffled by Heero's shoulder, which had become his head rest.

The uni-banged boy stared at his braided friend. "How did you know?" He asked quietly.

"It was as bright as day! And he liked you too! Don't know how you didn't know." Wufei shouted.

Trowa nodded a little. "I guess you're right, Wufei. Its probably partly my fault that he died..." He trailed off as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Not your fault!" Duo protested weakly. 

"He chose to die, he didn't think life was worth living anymore, I'm sure you've thought about it sometime or another..." Heero said.

Trowa started to speak but his voice caught in his throat, and instead a chocked sob came out. He turned and walked back into his apartment leaving the other three in the dark hallway.

~*~*~*~

It was late morning when Trowa woke up, slightly remembering a bad nightmare. Wait... was it a nightmare? "No... it wasn't..." He whispered.

All of the memories came back at once. The other pilots standing outside. The news of... Quatre's death... 'No. He can't be dead...' Trowa thought. He ran over to the small TV he had and switched it on to a news channel. 

Sure enough there was a reporter speaking about how 'Young Mr. Winner, head of the Winner Corporations' had fallen out of a window from some building on The Earth Sphere yesterday. Trowa shook his head. "Quatre can't die!" He shouted at the TV, ready to throw the remote at it. 

"The funeral will be held tomorrow at noon-" Trowa didn't pay attention to the woman any more, he grabbed a notepad and pen and began writing down the information printed at the bottom of the screen. He soon dropped the pen. There would be a lot of people there if they were announcing it on TV. He couldn't go with that many people. 

His head dropped and he relaxed back into the chair. "He's gone..." Trowa whispered to the TV. "And I never told him... how I felt. I didn't think I would have to for a while now that the war was over!" He threw the pen and pad at the Tv, but of course, that didn't nothing. The outburst was startling, even to himself.

Trowa was soon crying openly. He curled up into a little ball crying to his hearts content. "He's really, really, really dead." He mouthed to the pillow he was hugging.

~*~*~*~

Why did the little angel take his life?

_~*~Owari~*~_


End file.
